A young friend wrote in her social media one day that she was struggling. Having a down day. She knew her life was good, and that she was loved, but she felt feelings of failure. She shared it, and people commented back, even though she said she didn’t intend for them too.
There seemed to be a lot of pressure she was applying to herself. I knew the feeling. And I knew the last thing anyone who is trying really hard wants to hear is: “Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.” Ha! hahahahaha.
To comfort her, I tried identifying with her. I do a lot of things, but feel like I don’t do much. I have 3 kids. I have 3 and counting Instagram accounts, 13 email addresses, even more websites, wonderful clients, and lots of hobbies. But I still feel like a failure every day. Because I know the ideas that I didn’t get done. The articles I didn’t write. The people I didn’t reach. The people who I may have let down.
There’s a phrase I first heard from one of Tin Shingle’s longest friends and now a private client of our Training Program, Galia Gichon. When she was giving me financial advice and helping me shake up my revenue models, she referred to my “Future Self.” It was the first time I’d heard that phrase. She said I was saving money or investing in things to set up my Future Self. Caring for that future self made doing these savings activities easier. It was no longer me right now. It was my Future Self who I didn’t know yet, but I wanted to protect.
As a Current Self who is in the middle of reclaiming herself, I swirl around in different emotions. Some strong, some soft, some slurpy. I’ve always been an advocate of forgiveness of one’s self, but sometimes it seems like so much forgiveness.
Yet still, the forgiveness is necessary. Never goes away. But I’ve been doing better at remembering the little things that I do get done that contribute to my longer path.
Days before my young friend had posted her vulnerable message, one of my own friends had given me some advice. I had called them during the work-day, an action we only reserve for Really Important Things. I called them during an Unsure Moment. It was a moment where I was trying really hard for something, and I seemed to be getting nearer to it, and then I got scared. My foundation of what I thought I needed to do started kaleidoscoping. I called them to get their input.
They reassured me that I was correct, and reinforced it with: “I’ve talked to Yesterday You, and Tomorrow You. And Today You doesn’t know this, but Tomorrow You will thank you.”
What has helped me is knowing that what I am doing right now, today, the little things or the big things, is helping me tomorrow. What I have realized is if I do something out of fear, it won’t come. I tend to find success when I do things out of beauty. That feeling jazzes me, has me vibing, and I get going again.
If you get into a panic, remember that it is momentary. Next, eat some vegetables. And/or journal it in a quiet moment. Then, think of your Future Self. Do it for them. In moments of courage, set things up for yourself to be accountable to. That you never would have done in your down state. When you’re up, set it up. And then show up.
Tomorrow You will thank you.